That is, if I am worthy enough to be allowed to borrow a quote from a game that awesome.

It's not really like I am updating it because I have anything to tell or I have some problems in my innards so I'd be writing an emo journal, this one is definitely worksafe. I promise.

You see, the actual reason I am writing it is that it's like half six at morning and I've got into a non-barrier state. Normally, I have a lot of barriers that stop me from saying things I feel like saying. Because even though I might be a person that likes to get to know new things about himself and everytime a complex appears, I pull it out of my subconsiousnes to the daylight with the power of my persona and then solve it, there are things I'd rather not be told. To survive on an art school, however, one has to take all-nighters, and then my consiousness is too weak to let me wear a persona as flawless and inpenetrable as I wear usually, because frankly, I am a scheming bastard with a dark past who tries hard to redeem himself by being a good person, thus a guy who can be basically trusted in important things, but you should almost never believe him what he says because he is quite possibly thinking something more or less different. And I enjoy seeing you thinking about it. If my persona falls, however, I become brutally honest and even my classmates avoid talking to me because they fear the powerlevel of my direct truth. (Also ulitilizing high-speed speech at the maximum level to get people confused. Also IRL trolling... also correcting teachers with a tone of voice I should never use without a reason... such things).

So, since I am now careless enough to waste my time to be writing here, I should explain my current situation to you, so you can profit from it a bit.

The thing is I have no time at all in this week, propably not even in this month. Firstly, I have a load of schoolwork, most of which is done. but I will be soon gone for two weeks, sculpting a giraffe in our city's ZOO. Also, I have to pay off the rest of my school expenses which I haven't fully covered yet, which is quite a bit of money I am not quite sure I'll be able to get without diyng along the way, because no matter how tireless masochist I may be, people die when they forget to eat, drink and sleep and take baths.
So, if I don't reply this month, don't talk to you, don't go in the tearooms, etc, it's simply because I lack time as much as most of you at this cruel time. I am really not being asocial willingly, I am not enjoying isolation, I am not depressed, nothing of this. It's just that I don't have time and can't stand the possibility that, as I naively think, I might be being thought about as some sort of escapist or whosoever. I am just not really catchable in the next month, you can visit the ZOO in Pilsen if you'd insist on meeting me but that's pretty much it. I promise I'll make up for it with my presence during holidays, etc.

Also I am sending hugs to everyone, even though I should not do it because as a tired person by hugging you I'd do it only to drain your energy which I don't want to do as I care about you even though I am in this state.



Edit: And yeah... when I'm tired, I speak and apparently even write in loooong sentences that are hard to get because my speed of thinking gets finally on par with the speed of my talking, so I can do both at once and it's synchronized. Usually I think faster and then have to correct myself back, you know.